UNSPOKEN LONGINGNESS

At a moment, when you felt longing for someone. Missing someone that you could not tell about, you felt exhausted. You cried all night thinking how miserable you were. You were so numb, could not think, could not react what you did just burst into tears without blinking, with your eyes wide open. You could feel the warm, thickened tears was streamed down your cheek so fast like the drops of heavy rain fallen onto your glass window. At the same time, you kept thinking about someone who started to leave you behind in your darkest world. Again and again. 

This despair repetitive event had ripped your heart open, leaving you bleeding out in vain until your last drop of blood was dried out. Force you to feel the excruciating pain of your last breath. 

It was really painful. 

I don’t deserved to be liked

I don’t deserved to be loved

I don’t even deserved to be missed

Maybe I just deserved to be a loner 🥺😔😭

SEPI SEORANG PERINDU - J.A

The conversation, the connection and the chemistry seem like it was a real one or I was full of myself again?? 😔. Started with the simplest “me too 😊”. And then, one day, I woke up seen myself in the crowd became a stranger. Again. It took me a couple of years in being hidden to gain my strength just to make an effort that seem simple but in the end of the day all went down the drain.  

я скучаю по вам

When I started to feel happy, flustered, because of someone. Eventually in the end of the day what left was sorrow. I had tried my best but it seem I am not good enough or it is in my nature to make people leave. I need someone to tell me what is wrong with me so that I can be better. The wrong I made seem unforgiving so I was left stranded in my empty darkest space figuring out on my own the mistakes I may made.

Hendak diluah rasa takut…

Kalau dipendam rasa sakit…

Tak daya nak hadap dua-dua 😭

Jadi aku mendiamkan diri…

Tak ada niat untuk menjauh…

Cuma bimbang untuk memulakan, risau tidak dibalas…

No matter what, I have to bear with all my guts. And believed things happened because Allah want to give me a lesson that I should not put my hopes toward human. Have faith, be strong, always seeks for Allah guidance IN MY EVERY SUJUD AND PRAY .

Keep telling Allah

What your heart wants the most

Keep talking to Him

Keep believing that

What's you're asking is something

Only Allah can give

And he will give you

You just have to believe it

~Anonymous~

Notes: I am all aware, nobody would read my heart voice. I believe only the chosen one deserve to read.

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