I thought of posting my entry gradually every week but unfortunately, a lots of things happened and I didn't post any last week. Well, it was a bit disappointed cause there was not much viewer for this blog. I am not an attention seeker but just hope that people out there show their concern by reading my blog even without comment. Nevermind, I can think of this as my diary that can be accessed worldwide but only read by me. Lets cut to the chase and begin our Episode 4. Here it is.
Everyone around me who knows me as a friend would notice from their first impression that I am a very quiet and shy person....that is the truth about me....sometime, I feel like being quite can be seen as an ignorance...someone who doesn't care about anything around him or her...yesss, thats also true...and because of that kind of shyness....I suffered a lot...I tend to keep my feeling inside without telling anyone...I didn't share any story about my crush with anyone...that is why he didn't know my real intention....and the most important thing....how I felt about him...
Because of this silence...I dont dare to share my feeling....because of it...I miss a golden opportunity that might never come again....I had so many chances to talk with him...but I only realized it just now...about that missing chances....
1. Why I didn't reply his text when he said "terima kasih 😁"...I supposed to say "sama sama" with a smiley 😉 or maybe some tricky words there...sama2 kasih 😍😍😍
2. Why I didn't look straight into his eyes 😳 Give the warmest smile i've ever had 😆 and say the most sincere thanks 😇 when he picked up and handed me that flown away 🌫 plan in the raining 🌧at paddy field ....I don't even say a proper thanks...I was shocked 😅 when he was the one that saving my precious plan...it was so abrupt and at that moment my heart was thumping hard💓...that was why I needed to cover and my thanks seem unclear...I didn't know if he heard 👂it or not....
3. Why I didn't say goodbye 🤗 or thanks after the site visit that day...I just went straight into the car 🚙 and didn't even give a glance 😏...I supposed to meet him for the last time...say a proper thanks after a long tiring 😰 site visit as he was the one that lead us the way...I know I was being rude...i might not see him again after this 😭...because this is the last block for him to handle in this project....I admit that i was so nervous 😳 to see him...because.....I realized that....I really liked him...and I think that...I had fall in love with this guy...😢😢
But unfortunately, everything was ended that day...I didn't heard from him anymore 😔...day after day seem so hard for me 🙇...I felt miserable 😖...uneasy 😫....since I missed that chances, I had been hoping that a magical thing could destined us back together...InshaaAllah
I think I have recovered my heart 🤕... Slowly I can forget about him... Maybe this is the best thing I should do because I don't want to be hurt anymore.... I don't want to be in one sided love anymore....I am tired 😰 of it I'm sick of it 🤒...
But lately, after about a month I didn't heard anything from him...I've been stalked him for the last couple of days....I kept on checking his last seen in whatsapp....wondered who is he chatting with if I seen him online....I wish that I am bold enough to say hi to him...how I wanted to confess that I really fall in love with him on that rainy day...how I wanted to see him again...😫
Why I felt this way...whats wrong with me...and at the same time i really wanted to tell someone about the uneasiness of my heart....I couldn't sleep cause I kept thinking bout this....😌
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