Episode 3: Beginning of A New Phase

Actually, the episode that Im going to post right after this and all the following episodes are my writings in my phone note since 2017...what I need to do is just copy them and paste them here...just simple as that...it might be my passion or maybe it just my hobby when I had no one to tell this story of mine...so here it is the only place I can bluffing about anything...without further due, here is my Episode 3

You know that I am all the way ignorant since school....I dont give a damn what people might say bout me...being called a robot, didn't have a feeling, I was grown up with that...

But since I am getting old...almost 30 in a few years...I had to think deep about phases in my life I suppose to go through...I missed a few important moments in the past when I still younger that I supposed to go through as a normal girl...but unluckily, I never had that moment...

A new phase of life I mean here is about how my thought slightly changing...being happy the way I am is not my choice anymore...I start to feel so lonely lately...i know that I am the one that keeping myself far away on being chase out....feeling like I was isolated...

Recently, I started to realise that I becoming obsessive about that guy i've been admired...I stalked him for every couple of hours...I just couldn't afford to control myself...i tried to retain myself so that I can stop stalk him...what is the used of stalked if I have no guts to approach him...it is useless and wasted my time...

I just wanted to be given a chance...opportunity to confess...a space, a courage to confront him and say out loud bout what I ve been keeping....but he is far away...so far to reach out...I just wanted someone who would care, miss and worry about me...someone that i can rely on...someone that I can trust...someone that can be honest towards me...no pretending and not faking it...

Dah lama saya nk bagi tau..tapi malu...x tertahan hati ini rasa pilu..x dapat meluahkan apa yg terbuku..akhirnya tanpa segan silu...sy terpaksa bagi tau..yg I love u

Tadi tu hanya lirik berlagu...bagaikan rap merapu...tapi membawa maksud beribu...moga kita bersatu menjadi jiwa yang padu...

X pernah ku sangka..yg aku hebat berkarya...mengubat hati yg duka...bila cinta tidak berkata...hanya karya menjadi media...luahan hati dan jiwa...

Moga kau bisa mengerti...apa yg terpendam di lubuk hati...menjadi bukti cinta sejati...yg x kan pernah diperolehi...

the story about that mystery guy i'd post for next episode...it might be a long and kind of boring and lame story but yet, those short moment I had and felt was priceless...Im already over him cause I know where exactly I should stand...the story was just a history...that I hope could repeat itself

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Episode 2: Such Unlucky Spinster

This is what I've been keeping all this while. I wanted to post this since in the month of Ramadhan but I kept on  procrastinate. Things always happened in the middle of my writing with no internet coverage, I suddenly forgot how to compose new post, had a hard time to post my entry using my phone and end up I didn't post it until today I had a chance and I immediately grab my laptop, started typing and here we go...My Episode 2: Such Unlucky Spinster.

The title above might make people wondering  who is the unlucky one...it is depend on the readers to guess who's the person...might be me...might be you...you...and you...

But the most crucial things are...how we accept the fact of what we really are...stop underestimate ourself....being humble is good in such a way but overly humble make you lose or miss the beautiful part of your life...

Thinking about being a spinster make me wanted to do something extraordinary...something not really me....but I am so ashame to ask what I really wanted to do...I just wanted to go for a....a....a.....a blind date....cause my life start to feel a bit lonely recently....I also want to have a 'special friend'...who would like me back....that make me smile every single night before going to bed...

I just wanted to see or meet someone who could fill up my empty space...this lonesome is killing me...in such a way that I feel rotten from inside out...I might not say anything....might not ask someone to match made me...but the real is I really wanted for someone to find someone for me...I wanted to be the next match made in heaven...a lovebirds...a star-crossed lover or else a soulmate...please don't misunderstanding me...my silence here doesn't mean that I hate to have someone...but my silence mean that I am ready to meet my destiny...I am ready it is just a matter of time...a matter of suitability or a matter of place....I believe someone somewhere is still looking for me...I really hope that he meet me pretty soon...take me away into a better life...

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