MATI RASA

 Tajuk post je pun dan ada macam2 interpretasi yang tersendiri mengikut pengalaman dan status diri masing-masing...dia hadir tanpa kita sedari tapi bile nak mematikan tu...mengambil amsa yang sangat2 lama tak seperti mana bila mana ia hadir...biarpun sakit terlantar, sampai sekarang tak mati2...dibunuh berkali2 pun masih belum mati...bila ada orang sebut mati rasa...aku cemburu...

kenapa pasangan suami isteri yang dah ada talian ikatan pernikahan pun boleh cakap dah mati rasa...

kenapa pada seseorang yang tak pernah ada talian apa2 pun, persahabatan mau pun lebih daripada itu, tak pernah dan susah untuk mematikan rasa tu...

tarik nafas panjang aku memikirkan perkara ini...bila masa tangan ini terus menaip setiap huruf dalam meluahkan kata2..semakin aku menyedari sesuatu...

Macam mana nak mematikan rasa tu bila tiada hubungan atau ikatan yang wujud...tiada tali utuk dipotong..macam mana nak putuskan...

Bila tengok cerita drama "Dia Imamku"lakonan mantap Kamal Adli dan SIti Saleha yang tengah ditayangkan kat Astro Ria sekarang ni..aku mula faham sesuatu...

Bila Budin (watak Kamal Adli) yang sangat tulus dan ikhlas dan menjadi suami idaman orang macam aku ni...di permainkan perasaan oleh isteri dia sendiri, Humairah (watak Siti Saleha)..sakit tu macam aku pun terasa...hakikatnya aku tak pernah bercinta pun...tapi sakit dia tu rasa nak menangis masa aku tengok...tapi...dalam pada sakitnya seorang Budin...aku belajar sesuatu...untung sebenarnya jadi Budin, bila dia dah usaha sehabis baik dalam memberi rasa cinta pada isteri dia sendiri...namun tak dihargai..at least dia dah bagi yang terbaik dan memberi rasa cintanya pada seseorang walau pun tak layak...jadi untuk dia mematikan rasa itu mungkin lebih mudah...tali tu ada untuk diputuskan...tapi kalau takde...tu yang sampai sekarang rasa tu masih wujud walau dia dah buang segalanya pasal dia..dah tak contact langsung...dah tak apa2 langsung...setiap hari dia mesti masih ingat...tak penah sehari pun dia lupa...tiap langkah dia, mesti teringat...

Mungkin, bila dah ada seseorang yg sudi...masa tu aku yakin segala rasa tu pasti hilang...Allah Maha Penyayang...dia masih tak mematikan rasa tu bersebab...supaya dia sentiasa beringat dan tak buat benda yang sama lagi...

InshaaAllah...satu hari nanti

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THE MISCONCEPTION

 Hi peeps. I got a lot of thinking and idea to post recently. But not much of time.

but today, because of the public holiday and I have nothing to do. So let me share the thought and exciting information that I have been keeping without publicized it.

By the way, I wanted to take this chance to wish a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY for the King of Selangor. Thanks for giving me the space in updated my blog.

So here we go, the story for the day

There are several misconceptions that I just discovered this year. It is the concept that I hold for my whole life of living. But now I learnt, it is not, and it should be improved. The experience has taught me to think differently. I guess, i am on my way toward maturity.
The misconception that I wanna share are as follows:

1. I have written something about to love Allah is easy rather than to love His creature, but the truth is, the more you wanted to be in love with Him, the more pain you will be put in. You are going to be tested over and over again just to make sure you deserve to get His Love...which is the supreme love among others. To get it, you need to sacrifice, to be hurt, to grieve, to be in pain, in misery because all the other things that human tend to get, is going to be taken away...and have faith that everything you have lost will be replaced greatly beyond your imagination. Don't give up and keep on praying... do the things that human less to do it...be indifferent and don't be sad for not getting the wealth of the world.

2. I thought to like someone without reason will give you so much impact and will hurt you a lot in the end of the day but the truth is, the much more severe feeling is to hate someone without any reason...you will be in much more pain when the person you hate the most is related to the person you love and like the most...you felt helpless like you are hanging in the edge of the cliff, cannot go forward and cannot take a step back. You are trapped in the middle, heart being slice from all direction..it is such an immense torture

3. As you had that kind of butterfly effect in your stomach with someone whom you thought will be your soulmate. You believe the feeling, the chemistry that happened..but beware, those butterfly effect is the wrong interpretation of what you thought..so don't easily get influence with the butterfly effect..once you have it, run as far and fast as you can..it would destroy you eventually

4. Mind is stronger in rememberance and hard to forget compare to your heart...once you are broken hearted, we thought that our heart require more time ever to be treated to be cured..but the fact is, when our heart can accept and can be truly let go, our mind just could not...mind require much longer time just not to remember and to forget...there would be a certain time, where your mind is casually remember all the pain, the hurt by itself...you just cannot control your mind, and the memories will come and go as its wish..what you can do is just accept it...do not refrain your mind, make it familiar with the memories that you try to forget...when you get used to it...you would never be in pain anymore

5. All this while, i thought i have the greatest patience, sabr ever compare to other people because I am rarely to get angry..but the thing is, i have yet to be tested by Allah...once you have been tested, you started to realise the level of your patient and along the way, you learnt to let go the pain but not erase it...you learnt to live your life with the hurt, the scar which has become the greatest lesson of your life and also become the reminder to not repeat it again...

6. The world is not fairly enough...it is a place full of oppression of the strong to the weak, the rich to the poor, the capable to uncapable, the cruel to the kindhearted and the bold to the quiet...but remember, Allah has created all the differences just to make sure human can teach each other...

7. The world is not small as what the people has always say "the world at our fingertip"...it is as big as what we have logically imagine and what science has revealed. If the world is small enough, it will be easy for me to meet my Jodoh..but nahhh, it is hard..even if we stay in the same city, I don't think our world would overlap. Because it is too big to handle the overlapping...what will bring us together? Only destiny which make it much bigger

Aku tak mengejar, bukan dikejar mahu pun berlari

Aku cuma ingin belajar, yg benar untuk dihayati

Rindu "tu" harus dipendam, dihalang dan disekat semampu kudrat

Agar hilang rasa dan jiwa yg memudarat

Agar kita hidup sentiasa beringat

Tapi rindu "ni" yang harus di diluahkan

Agar kita sentiasa dalam ketaatan dan kesabaran untuk teguh berada di dunia hingga ke akhirnya

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Muslimah Berwibawa

Engkau adalah wanita hebat bila mana kau mampu mengubah rasa cemburu, iri hati menjadi perasaan kasih dan sayang sesama insan…

Menjadi bahagia dan gembira walau niat manusia hanya ingin kau rase menyendiri, kesepian

Mendoakan yang baik2, walau yg baik untuknya adalah kelukaan dan kesedihan jiwa mu

Engkau meletakkan 100% keyakinan yang Allah akan bersama hambaNya yang bersabar

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Wahai Jiwa Terabai: Kembalilah

Bila Islam bukan lagi pegangan tapi pilihan

Bila nafsu bukan lagi dikekang tapi diturutkan

Bila dunia menjadi keutamaan malah diagung-agungkan

Bila manusia menjadi tempat bergantung, bukan lagi Tuhan Yang Maha Esa

Bila tekanan duniawi mengancam kestabilan emosi dan jiwa, dan tiada lagi kemanusiaan yang Tersisa

Wahai jiwa terabai, kembalilah pada zat yg mulus, Yang Satu tiada dua

Gambar atas diambil semasa perjalanan balik kampung pada bulan March 2024

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SYAWAL 1445H (AIDILFITRI 2024)

 Seperti Aidilfitri tahun2 yang lepas, tahun ni juga aku tak melepaskan peluang untuk berkongsi gambar2 raya kami sekeluarga. Tahun ni kami beraya di Perak je. Kakak sulung aku bersalin anak pertama masa minggu kedua Ramadhan yang lepas dan berpantang di Perak. Jadi kami pun terpaksalah beraya di sini. InshaaAllah, ade rezeki raya Aidiladha nanti kami pulang ke kampung tercinta di Kelantan.

 

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Harapan Buat Bumi Al-Aqsa

Genap hari ini merupakan Syawal yang ke-12 dalam tahun 1445H bersamaan 20 April 2024. Sejujurnya, bermula 1 Syawal lagi, hati dan perasaan ini berasa sepi, sedih menyambut Syawal tahun ini. Bila mana, saudara-saudara kita di Al-Quds sana masih lagi berlapar, dibantai dan dibunuh hampir setiap saat. Namun begitu, sinar kesyukuran masih menerangi dalam hati dan jiwa ini dengan segala nikmat dan rahmat Islam yang Allah kurniakan pada hamba-Nya yang beriman. Pembebasan dan kemerdekaan buat bumi Al-Aqsa akan terus berada dalam doa kami. Sesungguhnya, sinar Islam itu semakin terang tatkala melihat keteguhan, kesabaran dan dalamnya iman penduduk2 bumi Al-Quds. Kanak-kanak yang sekecil-kecil 3-5 tahun sudah hafaz Al-Quran, lebih mendalam dan teguhnya iman di dada mereka tak setanding kanak2 yang membesar di bumi yang merdeka. Aku kagum dengan ibu bapa disana biarpun berada dalam penjara terbesar didunia, di sekat daripada hidup seperti manusia yang lain, Islam itu masih menjadi bimbingan utama buat anak-anak mereka dan Al-Quran sentiasa berada dalam genggaman mereka. Mereka lah yang mengajar aku erti sabar, yang menunjukkan aku indahnya Islam dan berkongsi rasa betapa manisnya nikmat Islam dan iman itu. Setiap hari, hati ini berasa sakit, sedih bila melihat kemusnahan kawasan tempat tinggal mereka, kemasukan bantuan dihalang, hospital, masjid, sekolah dibom, dibakar. Namun rasa lagi perit bila kita tak mampu nak membantu saudara2 kita disana. Hanya mampu melihat sahaja. 

Ya Allah, bantulah mereka. Kenyangkanlah mereka yang kelaparan, hilangkan rasa haus mereka, hangatkanlah tubuh mereka yang kedinginan, angkatlah rasa perit dalam hati dan jiwa mereka. Bantulah mereka Ya Allah, Tuhan yang Maha Perkasa, Maha Memaksa dan Maha Membalas. 

Aku yakin satu hari nanti, bumi Al-Aqsa akan dibebaskan. Allah sedang membimbing kita dengan kesabaran, keteguhan dan keimanan dalam menghadapi masa yang mendatang yang pasti akan lebih perit. Semoga iman di dada kita tidak goyah atau rapuh walau dilanda dengan ujian yang sangat dahsyat. Aminnn...InshaaAllah

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Things I have Learnt and I Realised I Couldn't Turn Back the Time

 I am so happy to see the post that have been written in my Notes is save. I got a chance to revive my "A" account and fortunately the post inside is safe and sound. And so I am here resuming my writing. So today, I am going to speak about things that I have learnt.

Next time...if you do not want to hurt someone else or being hurt by someone, please learn well and remember these notes. Hopefully, these advise will going to help others as well.

Once you realised the good vibe that started to happen. Instead of sharing your SOCMED. Firstly, ask a meet up...eyes to eyes contact are really important. We are in a virtual age where we thought we can get to know anyone, but the truth is we still need a physical meet up where the most genuine feeling is developed. Let both of you see each other well physically. Natural and real vibe without imagination and thought only is really help actually so please do not afraid, raised up to meet.

Secondly...If after the meeting/eyes to eyes contact, you feel unpleasant, be honest and tell the truth. However, if you feel a strong chemistry and good connection, then you can share your SOCMED. That way, you can get to know each other well, sharing and chatting all the good things through it. I bet you must be more comfortable as you have met before. 

Thirdly...Do not keep a connection or a chemistry that started to enhance between both of you without any name or status. Believe me, it is hard to communicate when you do not know your status to each other. The key for a successful relationship is a communication with a clear purpose. Or else, without the existence form of that "relationship", it would make the conversation hardly to be generated. Both of you instead of reacted accordingly ended up being silent and keep waiting for each other to react because the fear on the outcoming that may come around being one-sided. That is why being ghosted happened. Especially for those introverts and an overthinkers. 

Fourthly...If you fall deeper with each other, be bold, be brave and be opened to always move forward. Take the risk. Do not keep it inside yourself. Remember to be genuine with your own feeling and your main purpose is (to have a legit relationship) to get married ASAP. Do not afraid to give advice if you find any behaviour or action that is wrong directly or indirectly. A good person would always be able to accept with open heart the advise that has been given if they have a big heart. They would always be able to reflect themself. Who knows your advise would be a turning change to them. 

Fifthly...this is the most important thing, when you have confirm and affirmative with your status, the good feeling inside as you are getting close to each other will find its' own pace in making both of you to be opened, to be more communicative and supportive. InshaaAllah, in the end of the day, you will accept each other strength and flaws magnificiently.

GOOD LUCK!!

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